Tattooed Boys
by Hamster Fan
Summary: After accidentally getting high on paint fumes the four boys get tattoos and later highly regret it. Now they have to go on an adventure to get them taken off. No Slash. Please read and review but NO flames please. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone and welcome to my story! I've got a few things to say before you read so please read the following**

**1.) This story does not contain any bad language. Only mild language.**

**2.) I love to get reviews but hate to get flames. If you give me a really bad flame I'm just going to report it.**

**3.) This story is not a slash.**

**4.) It is mostly about the four main boys Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman.**

**5.) I try my best to update often and never give up on a story.**

**6.) You can vote on what characters my future SP stories will be about on the poll on my profile page.**

**7.) They are kids in this story.**

**8.) I hope you enjoy reading my story! :)**

**Tattooed Boys**

**Chapter 1**

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman were playing in front of Kyle's house when Kyle's mom Sheila came outside.

"Boys I want you all to help paint the living room for me,"

The boys all groaned. "But Mom we're in the middle of playing a game," Kyle whined.

"Yeah we're pretending that our life is simply a cartoon show invented by two guys to amuse people," said Stan.

Not questioning their strange game Sheila simply said, "I don't care I want your help with painting".

The boys groaned again and followed her inside. "Your mom really is a bitch Kyle," said Cartman.

"Shut up Cartman!" said Kyle.

Luckily Sheila didn't here Cartman's comment as she led them into the house. The living room was all taped up on the edges of the walls and there was plastic covering all over the furniture and floor.

"Mom it'll take all day to paint this!" said Kyle.

"It won't take long as long as you work together. If you do this for me I'll pay each of you twenty dollars," said Sheila.

"Wo-hoo!" said Kenny and he ran over to the buckets of paint.

The other boys also agreed to help due to the fact that they were getting paid.

An hour later they managed to paint one wall with the new color. Kyle's parents had left the house taking Ike with them to go to the grocery store leaving the four boys alone in the house.

"Ah-man this really sucks," said Cartman for about the thirtieth time.

"Cartman will you shut up and help us paint," said Kyle.

"These paint fumes are starting to make me feel dizzy," said Stan backing away from the wall and holding his hand that didn't have the paint brush to his head.

"Yeah me too," said Kyle.

The boys then noticed that Kenny wasn't helping at all. They looked around the room and say him standing over a half full bucket of paint.

"Kenny why aren't you helping?!" Cartman asked angrily.

"Dudes you've got to try this," said Kenny.

He then stuck his whole face into the bucket and inhaled deeply. After a moment Kenny lifted his head back out of the bucket and started to cheer and run around the room.

"Kenny! Don't do that!" said Kyle.

Cartman on the other hand went over to the bucket and did the same thing as Kenny. When he pulled his head up he said excitedly. "You guys seriously this is awesome!".

Stan and Kyle looked at each other for a moment before Stan shrugged his shoulders and went over to the paint bucket as well.

"Stan! Don't!" said Kyle.

Stan ignored Kyle and huffed some of the paint fumes too. Kyle put a hand to his face in disbelief and said. "Will you retards stop it! You're going to damage your brain!".

"No it's really cool dude try it," said Stan holding the paint bucket in front of Kyle.

"No!".

"Come on," Stan pleaded.

"I said no!".

Stan then forced the paint bucket into Kyle's face. Kyle gasped in surprise and involuntarily inhaled paint fumes. Kyle took a step back away from Stan feeling strange. He looked at Stan for a moment then went back and inhaled more paint fumes.

"See it's awesome," said Stan.

"Yeah you're right this is cool," said Kyle looking at the sudden change his surroundings appeared to be.

The four boys then started to all run around the room until Cartman stopped and said. "Hey you guys I've got a great idea of what we should do!".

He then led his friends out the front door heading for town.

**Yeah I know it was kind of stupid but please keep reading it's going to get funny. Also please don't flame me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey I'm glad you're still reading this story. I know that the first chapter was dumb but it's a humor story. I doesn't have to make perfect sense.**

**I forgot to write a disclaimer in the first chapter so let me write one right now.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park but I do own this story.**

**Chapter 2**

Kyle woke up feeling dazed and confused. He also felt a small pain in his upper arms. He sat up and realized that he had been lying in the snow in a field just outside of town. Kyle looked around and saw his three friends lying nearby. He then stood up and walked over to Stan and gently shook him.

"Stan dude wake up," said Kyle.

Stan partially opened his eyes and looked up at Kyle. "Mommy?" he said quietly.

Kyle laughed a little and said. "No stupid it's Kyle".

Stan then fully woke up and got to his feet. "What happened?' he asked.

"I don't know. The last thing I remember was we were all painting in my living room," said Kyle.

Right after he said this Kenny and Cartman also woke up. "What the hell happened and where are we?" Cartman asked.

"I think we're just outside of town," said Kenny.

"Why do I have this pain in my arms?" Kyle asked more to himself.

He then rolled up one of his sleeves and looked at his upper arm. Kyle screamed at what he saw.

"Dude what's wrong?" Stan asked frantically.

Everyone looked at Kyle's arm and gasped in surprise. Tattooed on his arm was the Nazi symbol in black ink. Cartman fell to the ground laughing. Kenny laughed too but not as hard as Cartman.

"Dude how did that get there?' Stan asked.

Kyle was shaking a little as said. "I don't know I just rolled up my sleeve and...AHH!"

Kyle had rolled and his other sleeve when he said this a screamed again at what he saw. Tattooed on his other arm was the Christian cross in brown ink. Cartman had stopped laughing and looked up. When he saw Kyle's other tattoo he cracked up laughing even harder than before.

"Ahh get it off it burns!" Kyle shouted and started to scratch at the tattoo muttering "Please be temporary, please be temporary, please be temporary!".

"You said your arms are sore? Uh-oh mine are too," Stan said nervously.

He pulled up his sleeve and also screamed at what he saw. Written in big bold letters on his arm was the words: "**I HATE Wendy Testaburger!**".

He then pulled up his other sleeve and saw the two male-male gay symbol tattooed on him. "Oh my God dude I don't hate Wendy and I'm not gay!"

Cartman was still laughing when Kyle said. "Jesus Crist it's not coming off!"

Stan also started to scratch at his tattoos and saw that they weren't coming off. "Oh-no they're permanent!" Stan said panicking.

Kyle stopped scratching at his tattoos and glared at Cartman. "Stop laughing I bet you have tattoos also fatass!"

"Do not!" said Cartman.

"Oh yeah, prove it," Kyle argued back.

"Fine!" said Cartman and he rolled up his sleeve. He gasped when he saw that there was a hippy piece sign on his arm. He rolled up his other sleeve and saw the Star of David Jewish symbol on the other arm.

"Ahh a hippy and a Jew symbol!" Cartman yelled.

He then bent over and barfed right in the snow. "Hey that's Stan's job" said Kenny pointing at Stan who also looked like he was going to be sick.

"Do you have any tattoos Kenny?" Kyle asked.

Kenny pushed up both his sleeves and saw nothing there. He sighed with relief and Stan said angrily. "Dude that's not fair!".

"Wait a minute," said Kyle and he went over an unzipped Kenny's jacket. He pulled up his shirt underneath and saw a big picture of the grim reaper printed on his chest. When Kenny looked down and saw this he simply passed out and just lied there in the snow.

"Ah-man what the hell are we going to do?" Cartman asked.

"This is it for me. When my mom sees that I've have tattoos and especially of what they are she going to murder me!" said Kyle.

"Dude calm down," said Stan.

Kyle ignored him and continued."She'll probably kill me then clone me and then kill all my clones!".

Stan slapped Kyle across the face and gripped him firmly by the shoulders. "Snap out of it Kyle! Our parents are not going to find out about this and we're going to fix it!"

"How?" said Cartman.

"Well since we must have gotten high off that paint when we got the tattoos all we have to do is go back and get them to take the tattoos back off," said Stan.

"That might just work," Kyle said starting to calm down.

"I think there's a tattoo parlor just outside of town that doesn't require parents permission," said Cartman.

"Great then let' go," said Kyle.

After waking Kenny back up the four of them headed for the tattoo parlor.

**Ha that was funny wasn't it?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi!**

**Chapter 3**

It didn't take long for the boys to be outside of town since South Park is such a small town. They were following Cartman when Kyle asked, "Cartman how do you know where this tattoo place is? I don' remember even getting these tattoos done".

"Because unlike Jews I have a good sense of direction," said Cartman.

Before Kyle could say a comeback Stan spoke up. "Ah man this is worse than when Kenny was addicted to cheesing".

"Or when you guys got high on cough syrup," said Kenny.

Cartman suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around to look angrily at his friends. "Ay no flashbacks! This is not Family Guy!"

Kenny, Kyle, and Stan exchanged glances between one another before following Cartman again.

When they arrived at the tattoo parlor there was a big sign that said "Tattoos For All, Even Minors".

They walked in and went straight up to the guy at the counter. It was a big muscular guy with tattoos on every inch of his body.

"Hey I remember you guys. Do ya like the tattoos?"

Cartman stood on a stool so he could reach and slammed his fist on the counter. "Hell no we don't like our tattoos!"

"Yeah we want them taken off!" said Kyle.

The man shook his head. "Sorry dudes we don't remove tattoos. We just apply them".

"So you're saying that we're stuck with these things forever?!" Stan asked with much fear in his voice.

"You sure are," said the man.

"Dude I can't have these tattoos! I'm Jewish," said Kyle pulling up his sleeves and showing the man.

"Well then it sucks to be you," said the tattoo guy.

"Come on there's got to be a way we can get these removed," Kenny half begged.

The man thought for a minute before saying. "Well I guess you could go to a big city like New York. They will have doctors that can get them removed".

"New York?! Why can't we just go to Denver?" Stan asked.

"Last I heard they don't have anywhere that removes tattoos," the man replied.

"Great, that's just great," Stan said sarcastically.

"Don't worry guys I have a solution," Kyle said with no emotion in his voice and left the parlor. His curious friends followed him.

A few minutes later Stan, Kenny and Cartman were standing just outside the parlor looking up. Kyle was standing on the edge of two story roof shouting. "I'm going to jump!"

Stan and Kenny looked surprised while Cartman shouted up to Kyle. "Do a flip!"

**Sorry about not updating. I've been very busy with school.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about not updating.**

**Did you see that new episode of South Park The China Probrem? That was so funny! I like the part when Cartman says. "Stopping the Chinese invasion won't mean anything if we go around shooting guys in the dick!" LOL!**

**Chapter 4**

"Kyle don't!" Stan shouted up at Kyle sounding scared.

"I'm saving my mom the trouble of killing me. She's just going to murder me when she finds out about these tattoos," said Kyle.

"Don't kill yourself Kyle, you're my best friend. I can't be stuck with my other friends. Cartman's an asshole and Kenny dies all the time!" Stan cried.

Kenny and Cartman glared at Stan but he ignored them.

After Stan said this Kyle sighed and got down off the roof. He went over to his friends and Stan gave him a hug. "Suicide is never the answer," said Stan when he pulled away.

"Yeah you're right," said Kyle.

"Ah man that would have been funny," said Cartman disappointed.

"Shut up Cartman!" Kyle, Stan and Kenny shouted at their so called friend.

"So what are we going to do about these tattoos?" Kenny asked.

"Simple was go to New York and get them taken off," said Stan.

"What about our parents?" asked Kyle.

Before Stan could answer Cartman spoke up. "Dumbass you tell them you're going to camp or something. It'll work, they're stupid".

Stan then said before Kyle could defend his parents. "Yeah that will work, my dad will believe anything!".

Then boys then hurried home to tell their parents that they were going to "camp".

**Sorry about the shortness. I wanted to end it there.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone I am so sorry for not updating. I've been too busy with school.**

**Chapter 5**

When Kyle walked into his house his parents were sitting in the living room watching TV in the newly painted room. "Hello Kyle, where on earth have you been?" his mother asked.

"Oh I was uhh...out," Kyle nervously responded.

"Out where?" his dad questioned.

Kyle stuttered for a minute before he quickly changed the subject. "Wow it is really hot in here".

"Then why don't you take your jacket off?" said Gerald.

Kyle knew that he was just wearing a T-shirt under his orange jacket and taking it off would revel his tattoos. Because of this his eyes widened a little and he blurted out. "Actually it's not hot in here. It must just be you,"

As soon as he said this Kyle instantly put his hands over his mouth knowing how wrong what he had just said sounded. To try and fix the damage he quickly said to his bewildered parents. "I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say me...I mean Stan...I mean ahh!".

Kyle ran out of the room as his parents glanced at each other confused. A moment later Kyle came back and said quickly, "Mom, Dad I signed up to go to camp".

He then slammed his eyes shut expecting the worst. When no outburst came he peeked through one eye then opened them up completely and looked at his parents.

"What kind of camp?" Gerald asked.

Kyle then said the first thing that came to his mind. "Umm, it's a camp where you make...cheese".

"Ok-ay...when does this camp start?" his mom questioned.

Still in disbelief that his parents were believing what he was saying Kyle replied, "Today so I need to pack".

Then without letting his parents object Kyle hurried upstairs and a grabbed his backpack and stuffed a few days worth of clothes into it along with some money and anything he felt he may need. Once he was finished he ran back downstairs. He almost made it to the door before his parents stood up from the couch and stopped him.

"Hold it right there mister!" said Sheila.

Kyle turned to his parents with a nervous look on his face. "Yeah?" he said timidly.

"You forgot to say goodbye to us".

Kyle sighed with relief and gave both his parents a quick hug goodbye. "Bye Mom bye Dad," said Kyle and he hurried out the door to meet up with his friends.

**Hopefully I will be able to update soon. I'll try my best to.**


	6. Chapter 6

**If you like this story then you should also read my other South Park stories. I have another active story right now called ****Stan's Horrible Gift****.**

**Chapter 6**

Kyle met up with his friends at Stan's house all ready to go. "What did you guys tell your parents?" Kyle asked.

"I told my mom I was going to another fat camp and she believed me," Cartman replied.

"My parents are alcoholics and don't care," Kenny reminded them.

"I told my dad I signed up for the army and he shaved his head again and took my grandpa's wheelchair," said Stan.

"Dude your dad has a weird was of coping with problems," said Kyle.

Stan agreed then changed the subject. "So what did you tell your parents?"

"I umm said I was going to a camp where I make cheese".

Cartman and Kenny started to crack up laughing at Kyle who glared at them. Stan looked at his friend confused before saying, "Ok-ay we better get going".

Stan had already called for a cab which arrived at his house a few minutes later. When they arrived at the airport the boys went right in and up to the front airline desk.

"We need four tickets to New York City," Cartman said urgently.

The woman behind the desk replied, "Okay there's a flight leaving in one hour. That will be four hundred and fifty dollars each".

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny looked shocked and Cartman simply said to them. "Don't worry guys I've got this".

Cartman turned back to the lady. "Ma'am I don't think you understand. We have Gonorrhea".

The woman looked surprised then said, "Oh are you boys all _special_ best friends?"

When she said this Stan barfed on the floor and Kyle shouted at Cartman. "We don't have that r-tard! Tell her we have cancer!".

"Oh yeah sorry we actually have cancer,"Cartman said quickly.

"Really? What kind of cancer?" the woman asked suspiciously.

Cartman thought for a moment before replying, "Well my friends have all over cancer which is why they are so messed up".

The boys glared at Cartman and Kyle said, "And Cartman here has cancer in his fat ass!"

The woman was convinced and gave them free tickets. The boys then headed to their plane and on their way to the Big Apple.

**I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone with the cancer jokes. I defiantly was not trying to. Anyway please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey I just made a new Stan and Kyle one-shot in case you're interested. I understand and don't mind if you aren't though.**

**Chapter 7**

The plane trip was long and painful for the boys. Before they even got on the plane Kenny somehow ended up getting sucked into one of the engines and getting chopped into a million pieces. Even the hungry rats got sucked in as well. Cartman kept on poking Kyle in the side which annoyed him to the point that he got up and threw a suitcase at Cartman hitting him in the head. Luckily this knocked him out so no one had to put up with him for the rest of the flight.

When they finally arrived at JFK airport near the city the three boys met up with Kenny who had resurrected just as they were getting off the plane. It was the middle of the night so the boys didn't linger at the airport. As soon as they stepped outside Cartman put his hands over his nose and shouted. "Oh my God what's that smell?!"

"We're in New Jersey right now," said Kenny.

"So those asshole pilots took us to the wrong place?!" Cartman yelled outraged.

"No retard New Jersey is right next to New York!" said Kyle impatiently.

"Let's go we need to get a cab," said Stan and he flagged one down.

"Take us to the nearest hotel in New York City," Kyle said to the taxi driver.

It didn't take long to get to the city since the airport was so close. Once they were in the city the cab pulled up to the closest hotel. As he waited to be paid everyone looked at Kyle. "Why the hell do I have to pay for everything?" he asked.

Cartman snorted and said, "Typically of the jew to not want to spend any money".

Kyle started to yelled insults at Cartman and Stan paid the driver to shut the two of them up. It wasn't until they were all out of the cab and it drove away that they realized they were probably at the dumpiest most low rent hotel in New York City. The was a dingy sign on it that said "Jail Break Hotel".

"Aww weak," said Cartman as soon as he looked at the hotel.

"Come on let's go in," Stan said sounding very drained.

"Dude there is no way we are staying here," Kyle protested.

"Kyle, it's the middle of the night and we're all exhausted," said Stan.

"But there's probably fugitives of the law in there!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Dude we're in the fourth grade we don't even know what fugitive means," said Cartman.

"I do you dumbass!" yelled Kyle.

"Guys shut up!" Stan shouted angrily.

Too tired to argue anymore the boys kept their mouths shut an went into the hotel.

**Sorry about the shortness. I wanted to end it there. Also I hope I didn't offend anyone who lives in New Jersey. XD**


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry about not updating. I've been so busy.

Chapter 8

Inside the hotel was even worse than on the outside. Water was dripping from the many cracks in the ceiling. Many floor tiles were missing and there were rats scurrying across the floor. The only lighting was a few old lights that were blinking as they seemed to almost burn out. If the building wasn't bad enough the people all over the lobby were even worse.

It was quite obvious where the hotel had received its name. Everyone looked like they literally just broke out of jail. Some even still had prison clothing on and one of the men there even still had handcuffs on.

"Dude this is pretty messed us right here," said Stan after they took a quick scan of the lobby.

"This looks like a hotel Kenny would stay at," said Cartman.

Kenny punched his so called friend in the back of the head causing Cartman to shout "Ay!" and rub his head.

"Let's just get a room and get this night over with," said Kyle and he headed towards to front counter followed by his friends.

As they were walking several of the fugitives of the law threw knives or shot guns at the boys making them yell in fright and run to the counter. Luckily everything missed Stan, Kyle, and Cartman but poor Kenny got hit by three knives and was shot five times. When they reached the counter they turned around and saw the dead Kenny lying in a pool of his own blood.

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" Stan shouted.

"You bastards!" Kyle yelled.

Kyle's comment only made the inmates angrier and they fired at them even more at the boys.

"Quick use fatass as a shield!" said Stan and he and Kyle hid behind Cartman.

"Ay I only die once assholes!" said Cartman.

"Yeah and here's your chance," said Kyle.

Cartman glared at Kyle then jumped behind and overturned table with Stan and Kyle close behind. Once the rain of bullets finally stopped the boys cautiously came out of their hiding place and approached the counter again.

"Um we need one room please," Stan said looking around nervously.

The man behind the bullet proof glass (which had many bullets lodged into it) told them the price. The boys split the price evenly between each other and took some money out of the dead Kenny's pocket and paid the man through a small hole in the glass. The hotel manager gave them a key to their room and the boys ran to the stairs.

Once they got to their room on the third floor Stan unlocked the door and they hurried inside. When Stan closed the door behind them he locked it and Kyle turned the dim light on. The three boys screamed in surprise when they saw Kenny standing in front of them perfectly alive.

Stan was the first to stop screaming when he realized who it was and said. "Oh hey Kenny".

Just then there was a harsh knock on the door causing the boys to jump. Stan and Kyle quickly went over to a nearby old dresser and pushed it in front of the door so no one could possibly enter. The let out a sigh of relief when they heard footsteps walking away.

"Hey Kenny how could you afford to have money to help us pay for this room?" Cartman asked suspiciously.

"I took my parents emergency money without them knowing," Kenny replied simply.

"Dude you stole from them?!" Kyle asked shocked.

"Well I would call this situation an emergency," said the hooded boy.

The boys then took a good look at the small room for the first time. It smell horrible and had one cracked window and only one disgusting bed.

"Look like only three of use will fit in that bed," said Stan.

"Well that's too bad for Cartman then," said Kyle.

Cartman glared at his friends again and said angrily. "All right you guys are seriously pissing me off! If I don't get to sleep in that bed I'm going to have a bunch of prostitutes come in here and give you all herpes!".

"Fine then one of us will have to stay awake for the first few hours to keep watch so no murders or prostitutes try to come in here," said Stan.

After some arguing it was decided that Kenny takes the first shift so the other three got into the bed completely disgusted and went to sleep.

Wasn't that funny? I was laughing when I was writing it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy chapter nine. :)**

**Chapter 9**

That morning Stan and Kyle woke up at about the same time and got out of bed. They saw that Kenny had fallen asleep sitting at the old desk keeping watch. Kyle shook him awake causing Kenny's eyes to fly open. "Titties!" He shouted apparently still in a dream he was having.

"Kenny wake up!" said Stan.

Kenny rubbed his eyes and looked around while Kyle said angrily. "Dude how could you fall asleep when you were supposed to be keeping watch?!"

Now fully awake Kenny madly responded. "Me? Weren't we supposed to take turns keeping watch?"

Stan and Kyle looked at each other then Stan quickly changed the subject. "We should probably wake up Cartman".

The boys glanced over to Cartman who was still sleeping in the dirty bed and snoring loudly. Stan walked over to the side of the bed and tried to shake him awake. It didn't work so Kyle went over and slapped Eric in the face. This did not wake him up either.

"God damn that fatass is a heavy sleeper," said Stan.

"I've got an idea," said Kenny and he took one of his shoes off. Kenny walked to the bedside as well and shouted. "Wake up you fat piece of crap!".

Kenny then threw his shoe as hard as he could hitting Cartman in the head. The second the shoe came in contact with his head Cartman shot up in bed and said still half asleep, "No kitty it's my ham!".

Kenny, Kyle, and Stan started to crack up laughing and Cartman woke up fully and glared at his friends.

"What do you fags want?" said Cartman as he got out of bed.

"We need to get going," said Stan.

"Well I think we need to first change out clothes. That bed made us smell horrible," said Kyle.

"Yeah we really smell like Kenny's house," said Cartman.

Cartman's comment simply gave him another hit in the head by Kenny with his shoe.

The boys took turns using the small bathroom in their room to change into clean clothes (they looked the same as their normal clothes) and wash up. It was Cartman's turn last and when he did not go into the bathroom Kenny said, "Come on Cartman change your clothes already. You can go out in public smelling like that".

"I can't you guys I forgot to pack extra clothes," Cartman replied.

"Then what the hell did you put in your backpack?" Kyle asked.

He grabbed Cartman's backpack away from him and opened it. Inside was nothing but individually wrapped snack cakes. "Cartman you god damn fatass!" Kyle yelled and threw the backpack back at Cartman with the snacks flying everywhere.

Cartman freaked out and started to hastily grab the snack cakes off the floor and put them back into his backpack.

"Great now what are we supposed to do?" Stan asked out loud irritated.

"I've have an idea," said Kenny.

Kenny then with the help of Cartman pushed the dresser back out of the way of the door, unlocked, and opened it. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman followed Kenny out of the room and making sure they locked it again and taking their backpacks with them went down the stairs. The boys literally ran through the lobby narrowly avoiding gunshots and all managed to get outside side safely.

A half an hour later Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were waiting outside a nearby gift shop. "God what is taking him so long?" said Stan.

Right after he said this Cartman came out of the store in his new clothes. He was wearing a new T-shirt that said "I 'Heart' New York on the front with a matching New York baseball cap on and pants that said New York on the back.

The boys started to laugh and Kyle said. "What's the matter Cartman did you have trouble finding clothes in the quadruple extra large size?"

"Screw you Kyle!" said Cartman and then muttered to himself. "Well I guess I will be killing myself now".

The boys were still laughing when Cartman said, "Come on let's go get these stupid tattoos off".

His friends stopped laughing and agreed. Stan was about to flag down a taxi when Kyle suddenly said, "Oh no I forgot my backpack back at the hotel!"

"So?" said Kenny.

"So?! Someone could steal it and I have all my stuff in there including my money!" said Kyle.

"Okay we'll go back and get it," Stan said trying to calm Kyle down.

The boys ran back through the lobby this time with most of the fugitives shooting at Cartman because of what he was wearing. Luckily not one hit him however.

When they got to their room and unlocked it Kyle sighed with relief when he found his bag lying on the bed with nothing missing. "Okay now we can go," Kyle said swinging his backpack around his shoulders and re-locking the door to join his friends.

They were very surprised when they first got back to the lobby because no one was firing at them. They looked around and saw that all the jail breakers and criminals have dropped their weapons and had their hands in the air.

They glanced at the front door and saw about two dozen police officers standing there pointing their guns at everyone including the boys.

"Put your hands in the air now!" one of the officers shouted at them.

**I loved what I made Cartman and Kenny say when they woke up. LOL. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome back.**

**Chapter 10**

The boys put their hands in the air and nervously looked at the officers. They stayed like this as the police officers started to take the criminals out of the hotel and load them into police cars. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman were the last ones in the building when a few armed officers approached them.

"Well it looks like you criminals today come in all ages," said one of the officers.

"Sir there has been a mistake. We're not criminals," Kyle said quickly.

"Oh really?" said another officer in an unbelieving tone. "Then why are you staying at the 'Jail Break Hotel'?".

"Weak," said Cartman.

"We had nowhere else to go and besides, we're just kids," said Stan.

"Yeah, kids with tattoos!" said an officer pointing at Cartman.

The officer had noticed Cartman's tattoos because he was wearing a short sleeved New York T-shirt. He went over and pulled up Cartman's short sleeves up to get a better look.

"Let's see," he said looking at the peace sign and Star of David. "We've got a criminal who is a hippy Jew".

"So weak," Cartman muttered.

The man then went to Kyle and rolled up his jacket sleeves against Kyle's will. "We also have a Christian Nazi".

"God damn it, I'm not a Christian Nazi!" Kyle shouted.

The officer ignored Kyle and looked at Stan's tattoos. "And here's a gay kid who apparently hates some girl named Wendy".

"This is so wrong," said Stan.

When the officer pulled up the sleeves on Kenny's orange parka he saw nothing. "This one must have it on his ass".

Kenny jumped backwards and yelled, "No I don't! I'll show you myself".

Kenny unzipped his jacket and lifted his shirt to show the big Grim Reaper on his chest. "Okay," said the officer. "We have here a homicidal maniac who doesn't fear death".

"What the hell?" Kenny shouted while zipping his jacket back up.

"You kids are in a lot of trouble," said one of the officers as one of them each went behind a boy and handcuffed their hands behind their back.

They then led the boys outside and forced them into the back of a police car. Once they were all in the back the officer that revealed their tattoos got in the drivers seat and started to follow the other cars carrying the real criminals.

"Well this sucks," said Stan.

"I blame Cartman," said Kyle.

"What?! Why?" Cartman snapped back.

"I'll think of a way that it's your fault," Kyle replied.

They boys started to all yell at each other all trying to blame the other until the officer driving the car shouted, "Shut up!" without turning around.

They sat in silence for a moment all trying to think of a plan to escape. While Kenny was thinking he forgot for a second that he was handcuffed and went to scratch his nose. He was surprised to see that he could since his small hand slipped out of the cuff.

After he managed to free his other hand he turned to his friends and whispered, "Hey guys, I managed to get free. I've got a plan".

Kenny put his hands behind his back to look like he was still cuffed and said to the officer. "Excuse me? Since I am a homicidal maniac can I have your gun so I can kill everyone in this car and then myself?"

Kenny's friends looked at him confused while the cop pulled to the side of the road. He turned around and pointed his gun at Kenny. "You think I'm stupid kid?" the cop asked.

Right after he said this Kenny managed to grab the gun from the officer and point it at him. "Yes, now get out of the car," Kenny ordered.

The officer put his hands in the air and left the vehicle. "Wow great job Kenny," said Kyle.

"Thanks, now who can drive this?' Kenny asked pointing at the steering wheel.

"I can," Stan replied and after Kenny unhooked all his friends' handcuffs Stan climbed into the front seat. "Kenny you push the gas and break and I'll steer," said Stan.

Kenny obeyed and climbed down to the pedals and slammed on the gas. The boys sped off in the cop car but little did they know that the cop they stole the car from had called for backup.

**Please review me likey reviews.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm soooo sorry for not updating! Tennis season has started and I'm on the high school team. Because of this I have no time to write because of all the practices.**

**Chapter 11**

"Give it more gas Kenny," said Stan as he quickly and surprisingly skillfully steered the police car through the mass amounts of traffic.

Kenny applied a little more pressure to the gas pedal and the car sped up. Kyle and Cartman were still sitting in the back seat when Cartman spoke up. "Were the hell are we going?"

"Where do you think dumbass? Were going to get these damn tattoos off once and for all!" Stan said irritably.

"Yeah don't ask stupid questions fatboy," said Kyle.

"Ay! don't call me fat you dumb Jew!" Cartman shouted back.

Kyle and Cartman started an argument causing Stan to shout at them without turning around. "Shut up! Don't make me reach back there!".

The boys became silent and Kyle pointed at Cartman saying, "He started it".

Just then the sound of police sirens filled their ears. Kyle and Cartman turned around in their seats only to see over a dozen police cars chasing them. "Oh crap the NYPD is chasing us!" said Kyle.

"That looks like the police to me. What does NYPD stand for?" Cartman asked.

"It stands for **N**ew **Y**ork **P**olice **D**umbass!" yelled Kyle.

"Alright hold on guys. Hit the brake Kenny!" said Stan.

Kenny did what he was told and slammed his hands on the brake. Stan turned the steering wheel as hard as he could to the left driving the car down the wrong side of the road.

"Dude do you even know where you're going?!" Kyle yelled while hanging on to the back of the drivers seat for dear life.

"No, I need you to find a map and figure it out. Kenny give it more gas," said Stan.

Kyle managed to get in the passenger side and found a map under the seat. He quickly flipped through it and pointed to the right. "That way! The doctors office where we can get the tattoos off is down that road.

"Brake Kenny!" shouted Stan and made a hard right.

Now that they were on the right side of the road again it was a little easier for Stan to steer. Cartman looked out the back window and saw that there was only a few cop cars left chasing them. The rest they had either crashed or couldn't keep up.

"We're almost there!" said Kyle looking at the map again.

"Hurry you guys the cops are getting closer," Cartman said quickly.

As they came to an intersection the traffic light turned red. Knowing that there was no way they could stop now without getting caught Stan ordered Kenny to hit the gas and they sped through the intersection. Suddenly as they were crossing the four-way road a tractor trailer came from the other direction and straight in their paths. The boys screamed and Kenny slammed the brakes but it was too late. The car crashed into the side of the large truck.

**Cliffy. Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay I haven't been able to update because my computer has been broken. It was awful! I felt like I was in a living hell without my computer! We actually almost had to get a new computer. Anyway it's fixed now, thank God, so here is the next chapter.**

**Chapter 12**

Cop cars surrounded the wreck in the middle of the intersection. Police got out of their vehicles and pointed their guns at the smoking wreck. They waited until they saw an orange hooded figure come crawling out of the wreak. It was Kenny. Once he stood up he put his hands on his head to make sure he was still intact. He then shouted happily, "Woo-hoo! I didn't die!".

Before the cops could tell Kenny to freeze and get his hands up; all of a sudden out of nowhere an anvil fell from the sky and landed on him. The result was a bloody mess and a dead Kenny. The cops rushed over to the scene to try and figure out how the hell an anvil randomly fell from the sky.

Meanwhile Kyle, Stan, and Cartman managed to get out of the police car on the other side unharmed thanks to air-bags. They quietly crept over to the sidewalk where they saw three nearby midgets. They were wearing black coats with dark sunglasses and one of them was really fat. Cartman started laughing at them causing Stan to quickly put his hand over Eric's mouth so the police would not hear them.

Kyle then got an idea and went over to the men with his two friends following. Kyle told them he would give them each twenty bucks to switch clothes with them. The small men agreed to the deal and they quickly went into a nearby ally to change. Moments later the boys came out wearing the coats and shades. They kept their hats on but other than that they looked completely different.

Then the midgets came out wearing Stan and Kyle's clothes and the fat guy was wearing Cartman's New York clothes. "Thanks," the boys said and they each paid them.

As soon as the men walked away one of the nearby baffled cops saw them. "There they are! The tattooed maniacs!" he yelled.

The other cops saw them and they all started to chase after the midgets.

"Dude, we sure are lucky Kenny's random death managed to distract the police," said Stan.

Kyle nodded and took out a map that was in the car. "We're only two blocks away from the tattoo removal place," Kyle said happily.

He then started off in the right direction down the sidewalk with Stan and Cartman following. When they arrived Kenny was waiting for them in front of the building.

_Three hours later_

"Damn that hurt," Stan said rubbing his sore arms as they left the clinic.

"Yeah but at least it's over with," Kyle replied.

"What do we do now?" Kenny asked.

"Go home I guess," said Stan.

"Or we could go get high on glue," Cartman suggested.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stopped in their tracks and they all turned to glare at Cartman.

"Shut up fatass!" they all screamed in unison.

**THE END**

**LOL I love how the ending turned out. Tell me what you think please.** **I hope you liked my story. I also hope you read more of my stories. Until then see ya!**


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